Happy Birthday Grandfather

Today would have been my Grandfather's 88th birthday. He is no longer physically with us but remains with us in our thoughts constantly. There are so many times that I have picked up the phone or thought "I want to tell Grandfather that" only to be reminded that he is not just a phone call away.

Losing my Grandfather was rough. It was the first death of someone close to me that I ever had to deal with. I don't know what was worse - watching him suffer with Parkinson's before he died or dealing with losing him after he died. In his last days he was very feverish and was not communicating well. I remember grabbing his hand to try and attempt to comfort him. I was not even sure if he was aware that I was by his side. I was surprised and shocked when he grabbed my hand very tightly and for quite some time. He spoke no words but it felt as if he was saying goodbye to me and wishing all the best that life has to offer.

My Grandfather was such a wonderful man. He was the best Grandfather I could ever ask for. I was so blessed to live close by him for most of my life. I am so happy that my daughter had the opportunity to get to know him and that he had the chance to know her. He called Sabina his "Little Sunshine."

One of the things my Grandfather used to always tell me was that he would dance at my wedding. (This coming from a man who I NEVER remember dancing! ) Well, I was not able to provide him with that opportunity. However, I know that if that opportunity ever presents itself in the future, he will be there in spirit.

Today, I was looking frantically for a picture of the two of us together. I couldn't find any. I then realized that there probably were pictures of us but in slide form. I also remembered that Grandfather probably took most of the pictures so he wouldn't be in that many. I finally remembered that I did have one slide of the two of us made into a print a few years ago. It is very special to me. It is of Grandfather reading to me. Reading was one of his favorite things to do. It is also one of mine.

I am thinking of you today Grandfather. I love you dearly. Thank you for loving me too.