Saturday, November 03, 2007

Bully

I have a bully in my room. He is just plain mean to the rest of the kids in my room. He pushes, hits, says mean things to others and lies about it all. When he is confronted about his behavior by an adult, he cries very convincingly and blames it on the other kid.

I have tried all kinds of things with this boy. I have done class meetings trying to focus on good behavior, being kind, etc. I haven't focused on the bully, just talked/problem solved about these topics as a group. I have also contracted with him, talked to the counselor and his grandma, hi caretaker. All of these have been useless.

The bully's behavior has been escalating. He has chosen one victim in particular to harass, another boy in my class. He threatens that he will get him in trouble and he uses him as a punching bag regularly. The victim is obviously scared to come to school and is beginning to hate school.

On Monday, the bully was finally suspended. What a peaceful day that was. The next day he came back with a vengeance and found his victim. He blamed him for his suspension and started to verbally harass him again. I immediately sent him to the office. It was our last day of school so he wasn't suspended but he also didn't return to class. What a nightmare.

After school, I went to talk to the victim's mom. She has been so amazing through this entire process. While she is concerned and protective of her son, she also is concerned for the bully. I told her about the day's happenings and she told me that the day before, the day that the bully was suspended, her son came home so happy because the bully was not at school. He of course didn't know the real reason why the bully was absent so he drew his own conclusions. Right before bedtime he told his mom that he wanted her to help him pray to G-d to make sure that the bully didn't come back to school. The mom responded by saying that she would pray to G-d but that she would instead ask G-d to help the bully to be happy and able to play well with her son and all of the other children at school. She told her son that all children have to go to school, even the children who have problems. What a nice response.

As for the bully, yes, he has lots of problems. He lives with Grandma because his mom is in prison and he dad checks in when he feels like it. He is left alone with video games and tv because grandma can't be bothered. I hate to call home when he misbehaves because I know that he will get a huge beating.

I have requested that the bully receive counseling services. I have also asked to have the bully removed from my room and placed in another classroom so that the boy being victimized doesn't have to live in fear.

4 comments:

Cracked Chancla said...

not that i am condoning the bully's behavior but i'm kind of worried for the bully's target. maybe there are ways to help him be more assertive, something to build his confidence, and help him understand that there are ways to deal with the bully. because by the way this bully cries when confronted by adults he's got a big coward beneath him and his target's gotta recognize that.

MsAbcMom said...

CC:
I agree!

Shelli said...

oy! What a mess.

You can't help but feel for the bully, too, because you KNOW that under it all? Is a scared little boy, who is only acting out the way he's seen and can "hide" behind.

Ay Dios Mio.

Julissa said...

Oh my! I didn't think about bullies when I started my classes for teaching. I think you and the mother of the child being bullied handled it as best as you could. Hopefully the young man will get the counseling he needs, because as he grows it will only get worse!