Saturday, July 07, 2007

Wallflower Girl

One of the people I went to HS with was a girl named "E." E was a wallflower girl. She was as timid as a mouse. I was probably one of her best friends and she had a hard time just hanging out and loosening up around me. I run into E about 3-4 times a year. Well, I really don't run into her, I see her and try to avoid her. Let me explain...

When I think of my friendship with E in HS, I am at first inclined to say that we were very good friends. We called each other and hung out together pretty regularly at some point or time during the school day. When I try to think about even more details of our friendship though I am at a loss. E was the girl who looked like she had a ROUGH home life. She seemed like someone who was either raised by a single mom or and abused mom, most likely the latter. She was always a bit nervous and walked around like she was walking on eggshells. I don't know that any of this is true , I am just making assumptions based on her behavior. The sad thing though is that I was supposed to be her friend. Why didn't I know what was going on and why didn't I try to see if I could help? I wonder if I even realized that there might be problems in her home life when I was her friend, way back in HS. Now, as a teacher, I am very tuned into those signs now, I didn't know any of that then. After HS, I lost contact with E. She didn't call me and I didn't call sad.

As I mentioned before, E lives in town and I see her every now and then. She looks even worse than she did in HS. We are the same age but E looks like she has at least 15 years on me. By her appearance, she still looks timid and scared of her own shadow. I can't really quite describe her facial expression but it looks about 30 seconds away from a meltdown or a hard cry. I wonder if she has followed into her mom's footsteps? I saw E this morning on my way to to the Farmer's Market. She was walking in her lost manner holding a baby no more than a year old in her arms. I couldn't help but wonder if this baby was going to follow in E's nervous footsteps as well.

So why don't I talk to E? I probably should but I don't know what I would say to her. I think that seeing me might embarrass her. I would love to just give her a hug because she looks like she REALLY, REALLY needs one. I don't feel like I have that familiarity with her anymore though. I was tempted to stop today and try to break the ice by informing her of the coming reunion. I then remembered that the reunion costs $50 to go and she just didn't look like she had $50 to spend so frivolously.

I know that I might be totally wrong about E. She could be a very happy individual. I don't know. All I know is that she has been on my mind today. I hope that she is doing well. If she isn't, I hope that she can find some peace and happiness.


Mommy off the Record said...

Poor E! It sounds like she could use a friend.

There is a girl I was best friends with in hs and now I rarely talk to her as well even though I see her now and then. It's weird to be so close at one time and then not be able to maintain the friendship.

Maybe next time you see E, you could let her know you're around if she ever wants to chat and then leave the ball in her court? At least she'd know you were thinking of her.

Nimitz' Lady said...

I've found a big ol' hug is the best ice breaker for meeting up with school friends I haven't seen or talked to in decades. Since you say that's what she looks like she needs anyway, what can it hurt?

Julissa said...

I agree with Mommy. Chat a bit and let her know you are around that way she might have someone to speak to to. I remember watching after school special or just shows in general where friends from high school would be there always, but I realized that it wasn't the case. A lot of times the people I called my friends were nothing of the sort. I recently have started chatting with an old friend. She was no like E, but she came from a broken home and she desperately wanted the attention of her mother and lacked a father. She went on to hang with a rebellious crowd and when I spoke to her after many years of lost contact she told me that it was a mistake distancing herself from me. It was nice and sad at the same time. She is very smart and I wonder how far she could've gone had she not have hung with the bad crowd.