Wallflower Girl

One of the people I went to HS with was a girl named "E." E was a wallflower girl. She was as timid as a mouse. I was probably one of her best friends and she had a hard time just hanging out and loosening up around me. I run into E about 3-4 times a year. Well, I really don't run into her, I see her and try to avoid her. Let me explain...

When I think of my friendship with E in HS, I am at first inclined to say that we were very good friends. We called each other and hung out together pretty regularly at some point or time during the school day. When I try to think about even more details of our friendship though I am at a loss. E was the girl who looked like she had a ROUGH home life. She seemed like someone who was either raised by a single mom or and abused mom, most likely the latter. She was always a bit nervous and walked around like she was walking on eggshells. I don't know that any of this is true , I am just making assumptions based on her behavior. The sad thing though is that I was supposed to be her friend. Why didn't I know what was going on and why didn't I try to see if I could help? I wonder if I even realized that there might be problems in her home life when I was her friend, way back in HS. Now, as a teacher, I am very tuned into those signs now, I didn't know any of that then. After HS, I lost contact with E. She didn't call me and I didn't call her...how sad.

As I mentioned before, E lives in town and I see her every now and then. She looks even worse than she did in HS. We are the same age but E looks like she has at least 15 years on me. By her appearance, she still looks timid and scared of her own shadow. I can't really quite describe her facial expression but it looks about 30 seconds away from a meltdown or a hard cry. I wonder if she has followed into her mom's footsteps? I saw E this morning on my way to to the Farmer's Market. She was walking in her lost manner holding a baby no more than a year old in her arms. I couldn't help but wonder if this baby was going to follow in E's nervous footsteps as well.

So why don't I talk to E? I probably should but I don't know what I would say to her. I think that seeing me might embarrass her. I would love to just give her a hug because she looks like she REALLY, REALLY needs one. I don't feel like I have that familiarity with her anymore though. I was tempted to stop today and try to break the ice by informing her of the coming reunion. I then remembered that the reunion costs $50 to go and she just didn't look like she had $50 to spend so frivolously.

I know that I might be totally wrong about E. She could be a very happy individual. I don't know. All I know is that she has been on my mind today. I hope that she is doing well. If she isn't, I hope that she can find some peace and happiness.